How to say no
Learning how to say no is an important skill to develop, especially as we approach the holiday season and the sitting of SQE 1 in January 2025.
Time is the most precious resource for available.
You’ll face many personal and professional commitments that could potentially suck up time unnecessarily.
However, learning to say no effectively can help you protect your energy, help prevent overload, burnout, and mental health challenges.
Saying no can be hard and intimidating. You might be a people pleaser, you might want to avoid conflict, or you might feel guilty for saying no.
Below is a 5 step framework for you to confidently say no.
5 step process to confidently say no
1. assess the situation
Getting invited to hang out with your friends on a Saturday night is a completely different situation to your boss asking you to come in and work on a Saturday to finish a task.
Understand where the ask is coming from.
Hanging out with your friends on a Saturday night is probably from a place of love. While studying for the SQE you will need a strong support system. Your friends (and family) will miss you while you are studying.
If your boss asks to you to come in on a Saturday, try to understand the reason behind it. For example, is this for a client deliverable that is behind schedule and the boss is asking for all hands on deck (including your boss). Or is your boss asking you to do the task to free up time for your boss (I would hope not).
If you are not clear on where the ask is coming from ask do not be afraid to ask questions. For example, if a partner 1 gives you a task to work on and is due Friday. On Thursday, partner 2 asks you to complete a task due on Friday as well. It’s ok to ask the partner 2 if this task can be delivered on Monday since you are working on a deliverable for Friday for partner 1.
If the response is no, it’s ok to have a conversation with both partner 1 and partner 2 to help prioritize what needs to be completed by Friday as you cannot complete both tasks by Friday without loss of quality.
2. Use Empathy to prepare your no
Something someone said to me once stuck with me. You cannot control what other people do or say. You can only control your actions.
Being asked to an event by a friend and family is a honor and privilege. Never take that for granted. In this situation always thank them for the invite graciously.
In a work situation always be polite. What you say and how you say it becomes a part of your brand. Your boss might have pressure from the client, leadership, or even family. Always look for the good in people.
3. Confidently say no
Choose your words carefully and keep it simple. Say it with confidence. In my experience be clear and direct as to avoid any misunderstanding.
Remember to acknowledge the point of view of the person making the ask and your boundaries. Over committing is easy, learn to prioritize your needs. It’s ok to focus on your needs.
By understanding where your boundaries are, saying no confidently will feel easier. Own your decision and take ownership of your no.
4. offer a alternative solution
As you become confident in saying no, the next step is to offer an alternative where it makes sense. Offering an alternative is not mandatory, however, can help build and maintain relationships. Offering an alternative is a way of showing you care and at the same time working within your boundaries and needs.
5. Follow through
Once you have communicated the no, you may be pressured to change your response. Be firm, polite and consistent. Once you fall to pressure the person asking may notice this and keep pressuring you. It’s ok to acknowledge how the other person is feeling and also maintain your boundaries. Which is why an alternative solution can (sometimes) help.
Examples of how to say no
- I would love to attend, however, I need to focus on passing my SQE exam
- I cannot attend this weekend, however, let’s get something on the calendar for when I am finished with taking the SQE exam
- That’s a great idea, I cannot commit right now as I have a lot on my plate
- I cannot work this weekend. Is this for a client? and if so what is the timeframe, maybe we could prioritize before the weekend?
- I’m happy to work on this task, however, we need to chat with partner 1 to help prioritize as Partner 1 has asked me to complete another task by Friday
Upcoming Holidays
Wishing everyone a Happy Christmas (Happy Holidays for my friends in the USA), and wishing you all a prosperous new year.
As we approach Christmas SQE Journey is taking a short break. Please focus on spending time with your family. If you are studying for the January 2025 SQE 1 exam, wishing you all the best in your last few weeks of studying. You’ve got this!
We will be back with our weekly issues starting Sunday, January 12, 2025. We have some exciting announcements to make and guests sharing their knowledge in 2025.
